Stop it! Má danwò – Don’t try it!
Some debates are pointless and outright ridiculous.
Some topics are not debatable. A debate about who is better between Chinua Achebe and Wọlé Ṣóyínká is akin to a debate about which eye is better, the right or the left. You need both eyes to see clearly.
Just as we don’t debate whether the left ear is better than the right ear or if the right kidney is better than the left kidney, debating which of these two gods of postcolonial Nigerian literature is better is the beginning of insanity.
When you eat a meal of Ṣóyínká, you wash it down with Achebe beer and likewise, when you chew Achebe kola nut, you drink Ṣóyínká palm wine on it. That’s how it is done. Ṣóyínká pounded yam and Achebe ẹ̀gúsí soup is what we call a balanced diet.
The following debates are also ridiculous:
Right testicle vs left testicle
Left ovary vs right ovary
Right lung vs left lung
Left hand vs right hand
Right leg vs left leg
Left nostril vs right nostril
Remember, these two great men are gods. Whatever you do, don’t bring their names into disrepute especially when discussing literature.
The same goes for other gods and goddesses of Nigerian literature – D.O. Fagunwa, Chinweizu, Cyprian Ekwensi, Ọlá Rotimi, JP Clark, Elechi Amadi, Flora Nwapa, Amos Tutuọla, Mabel Ṣẹgun, Niyi Ọṣundare, Onuora Nzekwu, Ken Saro-Wiwa, Christopher Okigbo, Sefi Atta, Mamman Vatsa etc.
Please don’t bring their names into disrepute.
Now, go and sin no more.