See, when I become a father, I will ‘date and marry’ my daughter first, I will model love to her (first model); treat her like a princess, treat her mom like an Amazon before her eyes, make her discover her worth. I’ll tell you a story explaining why I’ll do this.
Sometimes ago; early this year, a lady wrote to me about her serial cheat boyfriend. In her plea to me about what counsel I could offer, she said something:
“At least if he’s just cheating with just one lady, I’ll be okay. But they are too many..”
My eyebrows were raised. I was taken aback.
I enquired why she’d say that and here’s what her reply was:
“Ah it’s a normal thing for guys to cheat na, my dad was a cheat. I just know cheating is normal to men..”
This pierced my heart, and it reaffirmed my belief that a girl’s father is the one who lays a foundation for her standards.
Many ladies define love by what their dad did for their mom.
He beats her, so she’ll take a battery from a guy in a relationship, and for the fact that mom used to endure it, she’d copy that and endure such abuse in her relationship.
I know I am not yet a father, but can talk to fathers and prospective fathers?
A father is one who teaches her daughter what a male is all about. It’s the first man in her life — the first man she loves, the first man she tries to please, the first man she believes, she takes cues from how you treat mom. In this effect, you as a father sets her up for success or failure with the opposite sex.
“If daddy treated mom this way” she’ll think, “then all men must be like this and I guess I have to put up with it to have a man in my life.”
If you don’t treat your daughter how she should be treated, she’d fall into the wrong hands. She’d take anything because you gave her anything. Many women are trapped in wrong relationships because they needed validation that daddy didn’t give. These men deceived them with words.
They needed hugs, appreciation and compliments.
When last did you tell your daughter that she’s beautiful and you love her, and she’s everything to you?
Average Nigerian parents won’t remember. And when she gets to hear these words from strange men. She tilts in their direction.
Treat your wife like a queen before your daughter. It builds a perception in her about how she should equally be treated.
She will leave a relationship when a guy batters her because she remembers that ‘this is not how dad treated mom..’
You are her first model. Whatever she might believe about men will be because of you. Be careful of what you do, dear fathers.
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Copyright – You Are Her First Model By Aderanti Adebukola Adesewa the brain behind Adesewa”Hearted”