Your Relationships Do Not Define You | By Akinola Marian

relationships self-love tips

I have witnessed varieties of people rise and fall due to their relationships. Many have allowed their friendships to define them. These days, people are so much invested in relationships that they forget to focus on themselves.

Forgetting that the most important thing in having a relationship with another human being is self-love. You cannot express pure affection towards another if you do not extend the same to yourself first. Self-love is a virtue and only a few persons possess it, few masters it over time and a lot more continue to struggle with the inability to cultivate the love for themselves.

Even the most popular, jovial person might secretly deal with the reality of not loving himself enough.

People often feel the need to be in the company of others in order to be fulfilled. Feeling that they need the approval of a friend or spouse to be satisfied with their achievements.

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After reading KIM MCMILLEN’s poem, WHEN I LOVED MYSELF ENOUGH (which I strongly recommend to everyone), I realized a lot of things. Self-love is the key to many life problems. According to Macmillen, As I grew to love all of who I am, life started changing in beautiful and mysterious ways

Take a chill pill and spend quality time with yourself. This is the beginning of self-love and appreciation. You learn a lot of things you never knew about yourself, You realize some innate gifts you never know you possessed. Indeed, experience has shown that Self-love is the best love.

People sometimes lose themselves by spending too much time with others. This does not Insinuate that it is wrong to hangout out with people because from time to time, we all need to be in the company of others.

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However, the necessity of taking time to know yourself cannot be overemphasized. It might be hard to believe but some people do not know themselves. You ask a person randomly to describe themselves in three words and they take forever to give you an answer. Some people even feel the need to consult others or the dictionary in order to describe themselves.

Self-love is not selfishness. It is the state of being content with yourself. A point where being in your own company does not bore you. Be yourself, do what you really want to do. Do not say yes when you

really want to say no and quit trying to impress people. A relationship is a beautiful thing, finding someone to rely on is pleasurable. However, what happens when you are alone? when that person is unavoidably absent.

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I especially loved the part of MacMillan’s poem which reads; When I loved myself enough I redefined success and life became simple. Oh, the pleasure of that. You see the beauty in life when you meditate on yourself.

When was the last time you spent time with you?

Written By:

Akionla Marian Introvert

Akinola Marian, a 300 level Law student of Obafemi Awolowo University. She is an enthusiastic writer and reader of different genres. She enjoys staying indoors, watching movies, baking, and researching during her leisure.

Facebook: Akinola Marian Opeyemi

Instagram: @marianakinola


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