One of my sisters confronted me sometimes with an assertion that happily married women are scarce. I don’t have scientific or reliable data to support that but my observations will soak that inference in proofs.
The most painful concern I have is that many fervent, flaming females get neutralized spiritually after marriage; more burial ceremonies for visions than christening of dreams! As some instances currently fly into my mind, I bleed from the bullets of memory.
SAY THE TRUTH
Most men are culturally buttered with an inflated ego without being baked like bread of principles. They’re structured to be hard outside but fractured inside. So, he’s caught between the expected image and actual design. To make up for the gaps, he cooks stories and fries tales of lies with the oil of impressions.
Consequently, what you see on screen is not what is printed on paper. Sir, stop telling lies to your wife or spouse either by expression or implication! I’ve humbly learned that most women can cope with an ugly past served in the honest present and garnished with a purpose-driven future. Just say it as it is! Lying is why she wouldn’t trust you!
Stop bottling things that affect the whole family up inside. Your destinies have been tied together and so you must talk together. Give room for her contributions, why would she hear what’s going on in your life from a stranger in the church?
Don’t shout her down if she presents a childish or contrary opinion. Leadership cannot divorce communication. Answer her honest questions with a sincere response. Pick the right time and use love language! You may only keep quiet where she has manifested serial and obvious damaging immaturity.
“Pastor, I’ve never experienced orgasm in seven years yet we have sex almost every other day except he’s sick or on a journey but he will double up at the next available time”! Brotherly kindness demands sowing pleasure before reaping it. “He’s not sensitive at all once he’s high”!
Don’t always come to Canaan while leaving her in Egypt! If you cannot send her ahead make sure you go together. If you want to roof it at night start the decking in the morning with a soft emotional touch and clutch.
The baby in her never outgrows pampering; the difference between her and your newborn baby in this regard is their birthday. If she’s sick don’t blame her weakness to affirm your strength. Loose her hair when you can. If she’s angry, promise her chocolate and do it! You should swell her head and not break her heart.
Strive to make godly and noble things happen. Don’t just be laid back wallowing in pity. Be there for your children, bear your wife’s burden. Don’t act nice, killing yourself for others but intellectually castrated at home. Men and brethren, please if we’re bound together in friendship or ministry, don’t beat your wife. If I hear, you’ve cut a cord until you apologize publicly with a promise never to repeat the madness. We don’t do that in the lineage of Grace.